Saturday, January 23, 2016

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU LAUGH


My assignment for the writing class, due next Friday. I have had a really dry spell with my writing for quite some time and I am taking this class in order to try and get back into writing.  So far it is working and I am really enjoying the class. It was to be on any subject you would like to write on. This is what I chose and I hope it will give you a chuckle.  As another point of interest, I also have joined a singing group which meets near my home and is in the afternoon.  Two of my passions, writing and singing.




FRUSTRATION!

I am ready to throw a perfectly good book out the open window as I press and push down on the strip of velcro which is defeating me up to this very moment.

Oh yes, it is easy to peel off the back and press the sticky side to one side of the book.  I succeeded in that but only after a few battles using my nails, my perseverance and my stubbornness.  

“Rats, there goes my nail, the darn stuff is sticking to me like a leech trying to take blood.”

I’ll try to afix another long strip to my book on the opposite side.  I don’t want much, just to keep it closed so nothing will fall out!  That should be easy, right?”

Confidently I peel off the back of the next strip and press down.  It says to wait 24 hours to make it stick but I am curious, will it work?

“Drat, what’s this?  How can it work?  Do the fuzzy surfaces cling to each other like two lovers, on a flimsy raft in the Indian Ocean?”

My book, unlike the raft, is wide and sturdy. It has a three ring dictionary in it, and many looseleaf papers just waiting to be of use. It is a book I use for every course I have taken and is an old, old friend.  If I throw it out, it will be like throwing a piece of myself out.  Would I toss myself out into the trash bin, just because I am not as useful as before? My brains still work, at least some of the time, and my loyal book has years of life still in it.  We cannot give up.

“ Will the book’s wish to be of serve be foiled by a piece of velcro? No, I cannot allow that.  I will try again now that some time has passed and I am calmer.  It is hard to imagine how two strips of material can drive me to distraction and the thought of exterminating it becomes foremost in my mind.”

I edge towards the inoffensive book, ready to pounce on the velcro.  I press it together, it seems to mock me with it’s white fuzzy face.  I can almost hear it laughing at me and daring me to find another way.

“Shall I get my glue gun and zap it with that?  I knew there was a reason why I bought it months and months ago.  Was it bought just for this purpose - to hot glue it down so it could never escape again?  Am I capable of inflicting this on it?  Will I feel pity towards this inanimate object? No, not the way I feel right now!”  

“I cannot handle this rejection,I am off to the mall to buy some groceries.  Perhaps I will come up with another solution once I clear my head.”

It’s obvious that velcro and I have no future together!  

An hour later I return, walker basket full of apples, grapes, cabbage, bread and eggs not to mention some yummy donuts to have as a special treat.

A donut later, or shall I be more truthful, two donuts later, I decide to try once again with the velcro.

Bang, my frustration level has increased again.  I am ready to give up but I have thought of another way to overcome this situation which I know will work.

I shall pick a pretty colour and crochet a line so that I can tie up the book - it will be secure and safe.  I dig into the odd wool bag where I keep scraps of wool.  I see one that will suit.  Green,with blue, with purple. It should go fine as the book is purple.

My fingers move rapidly with my crochet hook as I listen to classical music on the radio and think my own thoughts.  Finally, it is finished.

I wrap it securely around the book and tie a knot.  A job well done, a book made secure and my blood pressure lowered to an acceptable level even to the doctor.

Moral of the story - don’t give up, just find another way to do it.

No comments: